When we first decided that we were ready for baby #2, I thought I had it all figured out. This pregnancy was going to be super easy since I already knew what to expect, and I would have Kolton to keep me distracted during the early stages of morning sickness and fatigue. It’s funny how our heart convinces our brain that the pregnancy part isn’t so bad, since we know that the end result is worth every bit of discomfort.
As soon as I weaned Kolton, I began to get the ache for another baby. We decided the time was right to begin the discussion. Two weeks later, I realized I was feeling a little off, and decided to take a pregnancy test.
Neither of us could believe our eyes! Could it really be that easy? No. This had to be a mistake. We barely even…had to try! I of course knew that this was no mistake by the way my body was feeling, even this early on. Curtis however was going to need some convincing. I went to the doctor, and took a test there…POSITIVE!
Still, we had to wait to see my OB, since they want you to be close to 8 weeks along so you can see the heartbeat on an ultrasound. This waiting felt like a lifetime! It is so early on, so the fear sets in that something will go wrong between now and then. This is also a very isolating time. It is too early to tell anyone, so I felt completely alone to my thoughts and fears.
Finally!! It’s appointment time! The baby was roughly the size of a grain of rice, and we were able to see a flickering heart beat. This brought tears to my eyes! Such a beautiful miracle!
Everything looks good so far! We are able to breathe a huge sigh of relief! Now along with the reality of it all, the morning sickness sinks in.
My first trimester was honestly much worse than I remember with Kolton. The nausea went on for the first 15 weeks and the fatigue was so extreme at times that I didn’t think I would be able to get through the day. Having Kolton around to ‘distract’ me actually tugged at my heart strings. While my hormones were attacking me (and everyone else around me), I was feeling a constant sense of guilt for not being completely emotionally present for Kolton. There really is nothing worse than mommy-guilt, with the exception of mommy-guilt on steroids, which is exactly what this felt like.
It was really hard to enjoy this miracle growing inside of me when I was in constant agony. I had to keep reminding myself what my body was creating, and that this would pass. Eventually it did! I began to show much earlier this time than I had with Kolton, and it was getting much more difficult for me to hide the pregnancy. We began telling close friends and family around 8 weeks, and eventually made it more public around 12 weeks.
Now came the time to find out the gender of our baby. We were too anxious and decided not to wait for our next ultrasound with my doctor, so we made an appointment with the same 3D ultrasound company that told us the gender of Kolton. We made this appointment for 14 weeks
We asked him not to reveal to us the gender and had a small get together for our families and a few close friends to find out at the same time as we did. We had balloons stuffed inside a large box (blue for boy or pink for girl), and opened the box in front our guests!
At this point I am finally starting to feel more and more like myself. This was such exciting news, and it brought me back to the excitement of this journey! Shortly after, I started to feel her move around inside of me. The first time like a little flutter and eventually some real gymnastics moves!
At 19 weeks, it was time for my BIG ultrasound through my Doctor. This is where they look very closely at all aspects of the baby’s development thus far and solidify what we already know about her gender. This was very elaborate and detailed, and we passed every test with flying colors!! So far this baby is PERFECT! But of course we already knew that 😉
And here is my most recent photo to date:
I am currently 22 weeks along, and so excited to continue to share this amazing journey with all of you! Kolton has not quite grasped the concept of another baby coming into our family, but he really loves my growing belly. He is a very sweet and gentle little boy, so I know that as soon as the initial shock of sharing mommy wears off, he will be her best friend and protector. We are so excited to meet this new addition!
Many, many more posts to follow!