Mother’s day is always a hard time of year for me. This year mother’s day falls the day after my mom’s birthday making it even more bitter sweet. I lost my mom a few days after I turned 21, it’s hard to believe that was over 11 years ago. It still feels like yesterday with every millisecond of that day burned into my memory. My mom was my best friend and my biggest role model. I aspire to be like her everyday and hope to be even half as good a mother as she was. Yesterday, May 9, 2015, my mom would have been 60 years old. Those who knew her loved her spirit and were drawn to her caring, fun loving, laid back personality.
Keeping my mom’s memory alive is so important to me. I talk to Piper as much as I can and tell her all about her Grandma Leanne. Piper asked where Grandma lives, I told her, in the stars. Now Piper looks up at night once in a while and says, “Hi Grandma Leanne! I love you” I like to think she’s listening and it makes her smile. It makes my heart happy knowing Piper has some sort of connection with her Grandma.
The hardest part of becoming a mother myself was knowing my mom would never meet my children. She would have been so amazing with them. It pains me to think about the absents in their lives and my own… but that is selfish of me. With our second daughter expected in just 12 days I find myself reliving all the same emotions I had right before little miss Piper Leanne was born. It is good to feel and remember…but it’s hard and sometimes I don’t want to.
Happy birthday mom. I miss you everyday. I will always remember your smile and laugh and promise to tell my children about you every chance I get. I’m so thankful for the years and minutes I had with you. I’ll love you forever and someday I’ll see you again.